My world fell apart when I was diagnosed with colorectal cancer Stage 3A in early June 2018. I cried out to God to save me because I didn’t want to die. God is all I have. I told Him I will wrestle with Him and not let Him go unless He bless me, --- just like how He blessed Jacob in Genesis 32:28. I attended healing services at different churches, believing our Lord Jesus is a miracle-working God.
Repented
“Repentance led me to an unexplainable PEACE with God, and that matters most.”
My friend, Jean, gave me a book entitled “Breaking forth with Health” by Pastor Jason Teo from Bedok-Tampines Bethesda Church. His book was God-sent. Each chapter revealed the wretched man I was and have become in my 40 years of being a Christian. The dirt of bitterness, unforgiving spirit, pride of life, skepticism, anger, resentment, and hatred, among other things in my cup had overflowed immeasurably! I got down on my knees and seek God’s forgiveness. I realized that it is far more important to be healed in spirit and soul! He is Elohay Selichot, the God who is ready to forgive. I began to spend time with God, worshipping Him and fervently praying for healing every night.
Redeemed
“Redemption marked my return to Journeying with God.”
I coined the following treatment “battles”.
1st battle: 5-day of radiation on my affected area went well without any side effects. Praise the Lord!
2nd battle: Hysterectomy and Rectal Tumour Surgery
On 12 July 2018, the night before surgery, my brother led us to partake in the Holy Communion. Later I learned that communion not only reminds us of Christ’s death, but we can appropriate grace through communion for bodily healing. But it is Christ who makes possible the healing.
On 13 July 2018 at 9 am, I was being wheeled into the operating theatre, I told God I desire to have a close encounter with Him during my operation. But God didn’t appear to me in the operating theatre. I woke up in the high dependency ward with several intravenous tubes and a stoma bag! I was upset, depressed, and in great pain. I remember pumping in IV morphine doses frequently to relieve the pain. My lips and throat were especially dry. I was very thirsty. But I could only have 10 ml of water hourly. In that instance, I was brought back to Calvary. The scene of Jesus on the cross, given sour wine. Much later, I learned that Jesus refused to take the first wine mixed with myrrh that would dull His pain. Instead, He took the second sour wine to keep him conscious of His Sufferings for as long as possible! He chose to endure with full consciousness the sufferings appointed for Him. Jesus took no shortcut to redeem us!! We deserved to die, but He took the full wrath of God for us! It was also the darkest night of my life because I felt so disconnected from God.
On 14 July 2018, I was transferred to the normal ward. I needed a blood transfusion. That night, I desperately asked for the infilling of the Holy Spirit, and I could feel the warmth on my feet.
On 15 July 2018, I pleaded with the doctor to remove the nasogastric tube from my nose during her morning rounds. But she told me not so soon. A little voice inside me urged me to get out of bed and reminded me that Jesus Christ was resurrected on the 3rd day. I pushed myself out of the bed to sit on the chair. Minutes later, a nurse walked in to remove not only the nasogastric tube from my nose but also the rectal tube.
On 16 July 2018, more tubes were removed except the drainage and IV tubes. God is Elohim Shama, the God who hears.
One night, alone in the ward, tears kept streaming down my cheeks as I listened to the song: “In Christ alone” by Travis Cottrel (https://youtu.be/AjR_A2pGPrY). I was filled with gratitude toward Lord Jesus who suffered and died for me. Jesus is JEHOVAH – GO’ EL, the Redeeming God!
The result after the operation showed T0N1 - no more tumour but a lymph node hit. I had to undergo eight cycles of chemotherapy before stoma reversal surgery. Though my prayer to God for chemotherapy to be avoided was not answered, I believe His Grace was sufficient to see me through.
Restored
“Restoration with God brings joy, and renewed life and it takes my commitment to a higher level of desiring Him and pursuing intimacy with Him.”
3rd battle: 8 cycles of chemotherapy (completed 8-cycle of chemo oral pills but 6-cycle of chemo by infusion due to neuropathic pain)
Six-month chemotherapy was not an easy journey, but Hebrew 12:1-2 (bible) encouraged me to run the chemo race with patience and endurance. Along the chemo path, I knew there would be many obstacles such as discouragement, fear, anxieties, etc. I must stay focused on Jesus and run the race with Him by my side. And upon completion, I will surely advance spiritually.
Though there were days of discouragement, low spirit, experiencing side effects of chemo - needle pricking sensation and numbness in nerves on my hands and legs built up, and muscles weakened due to cumulative chemotherapy, God’s Word lifted me up.
The hardest battle was to fight the mind tormented by fear. But God’s Word is a two-edged sword, it is a powerful weapon to use to fight the tormenting fear. I would proclaim Psalm 118:17: “I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord.”
4th battle: Stoma reversal surgery went smoothly. Praise the Lord!
There were many new learning and discoveries about who God is during the dark season of my life. He is Jehovah Rohi, the Lord is my Shepherd, Migdal Oz, my strong tower, and Jehovah Uzzi, the Lord is my strength. Jesus is my Light and my Salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid? (Psalm 27:1). And He still is today and every day of my life!
It was humbling to have my intestine live outside my body for 6 months and I learned to depend totally on Him who is Elohim, the Mighty Creator.
During the dark season of my life, God never failed to assure me of His Love through His Word and His Creation, and His grace abounded much more to me. I discovered to live life well is to live a surrendered life to Christ. I am holding fast to the word of knowledge “3rd stage cancer healed, of someone you know” which was read out during “The Filling of the Holy Spirit” seminar by Pastor Jason Teo I attended in Feb 2019.
My Lord Jesus fought all the battles for me! He is Jehovah Gibbor Milchamah, mighty in battle!
As I embarked on the medical care follow-up marathon, I know my Lord Jesus is on this journey with me too. I believe the word of knowledge shall come to pass for I serve an Amazingly Gracious God!
Core Team Member, Cindy Tan
16 July 2022
Psalm 24:8 (ESV)
"Who is this King of glory? The Lord, strong and mighty, the Lord, mighty in battle!"